Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
MIDGETS
????
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
