Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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