Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
only if we run a train.
done.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
