I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
