Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
