I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
this will be a night to untag.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
