People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
