he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
That's when you crack a 10am beer
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
