So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
