I hate your face
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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