You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
