Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
