hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
