I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
where does the pee come out of this thing
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
