well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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