The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
