Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
