some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
