I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
