You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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