Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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