Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
This is the high leading the old right now
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
