She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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