Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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