"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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