i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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