I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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