I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
A bitchslap is in order.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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