for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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