If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
