maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
