Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She announced her abortion via fbk
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
