She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
