I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
3 2 1 whiskey
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize