He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
