Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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