Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
