Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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