all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
