I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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