Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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