Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
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