It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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