which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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