It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
