I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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