Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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