Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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