You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
