Dual....:-)
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
