He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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