That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
