so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
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