hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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