And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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