I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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