2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
