I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
