Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
