Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
