There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize