So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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