I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
