My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
