Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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